Hollywood Pears and Feeling the Heat

I just got a call from Hollywood! I often joke when the phone rings that it is Hollywood calling. It was a producer looking for large fake pears; which I happen to have for sale. I'm driving into town soon to FedX them overnight. I'm going to include 1/2 of one of those pears....my dog found one and proceeded to think it might taste like the pears the dogs find out in the orchard. I bet she was surprised to find it was yucky! Maybe they need only 1/2 a pear to put somewhere. I certainly don't need 1/2 of anything in my life right now! So the movie producer will get her 3 pears plus the 1/2 with fast speedy service to boot.

I had my last internet selling class yesterday. One of my students gave me the coolest vintage oil can with a "rustic" bouquet that she picked from her yard. How sweet! I don't usually get gifts from my students.

September draws ever nearer and as I was watching parts of the Biggest Loser last night, it only reminded me of the work yet to do. I know I must also learn to run or do other exercise that will let me feel the heat. I've heard that Southern women do not feel the heat; they pay others to do that for them! Jewish women have also been heard to say this.

Since I am not Southern, and I can only say I lean heavy towards having a Jewish belief system; I have to just learn to sweat with grace and love of what it does for me!

I'm off to town to do my pears. See you again soon here with more vast knowledge and wisdom beyond belief! LOL

Swallowing the Pacific Ocean in a Single Gulp!

Here is a picture of my local Pacific Ocean taken while out crabbing on a cool foggy morning. The fog can be a comforting blanket where reality can be seen with soft edges.

I saw a post on Facebook this morning that led me to an article on being in the reality of what is instead of simply witnessing something. It is a concept that is hard for me to internalize. I see the value of this, but my mind wants to rationalize instead of just going to that spot. Here is the link:

Awareness: Swallowing the Pacific Ocean in a single gulp http://budurl.com/vhhu

Tell me what you think. How do I get there? What do I need to do? I am always the observer of nature without the connection of being actually in and a part of what I see. I can jump right into being a part of social interaction..no problem! But swallowing the Pacific Ocean in a single gulp is like speaking Chinese! I have no clue.

I went to college in the 70's and 80's when people were into being self actualizing, learning meditation and visiting some place in their minds that I could not find! I remember holding hands in a circle moaning some mantra wondering just what the heck I was looking for! I never astro projected, visited a special spirit or found my zen. I kept thinking, "what the....."

Pondering myself this morning upon reading that link, I wondered if I am I also just an observer of my life without the connection to self that would help me be more in control of what I do and who I am? I am a great list maker. I can march right down that list to get jobs done, grow in knowledge, but do I ever grow as a person? I wonder. Maybe I am sitting on a log just outside of myself watching to see what I will do next with no expectations, no real plans and no ability to control anything. I wonder.

This blog is not just to get a good laugh from my readers. I am doing this as a journey to see myself as I am and hopefully see myself become who I want to be. I need to crawl into my own skin to experience the sadness that covers areas of my life and to feel the lasting (not just the immediate) joy of accomplishing a goal of actually changing. I often have lost weight, but I always go back to the "real" me who loves her comfort food, buries worries with activity and finds that nothing really ever changes because as an observer I can only make those list to march down. I canot change the very character of myself unless I crawl into myself and become a powerful element of self.

Those of you who know me, will be surprised to read this. I do not go to these levels of self often or outloud. Outloud makes it more real. Outloud can be scary.

I heard from a friend who read my blog and I need to thank her for her comments. I hope to see her back and wish that those who read this would sign up to follow me. It gives me validation and an appreciation of those that want to explore this journey with me.

Finding Happiness as a Way of Life

I have been avoiding my emails for a couple days. It seems somewhat overwhelming to wade through them all. I think maybe it is a slight depression that came over me along with the return of our infamous Oregon rain. Rain brings along the urge for comfort food like custard or bread pudding. I will fight the battle...where are those Tru Chocolates when I need one! I think, the last bag is out in the car and I'm certainly not subjecting myself to the rain that is now coming down sideways with gale force!

I am going to feature one of my high school friends in this post. The picture is Donna Mahan Woods and her sweet husband Darryl. Darryl has a slow southern drawl that makes you melt as he tells you how much he loves his wife! I remember him telling me that he loved to see the smile on her face when he brought her coffee to her while she was still in bed. He is every woman's dream! She is so lucky to have found a true "soul mate".

I've a plan to teach my Jim to speak in that drawl. He already brings me coffee every other morning, but I want to hear him tell one of my friends how he watches closely so he won't miss my smile. Maybe with weight loss, I should also bring some romance back into my life! Jim and I love each other, but we don't do the romantic stuff like Darryl and Donna. Being part Scandinavian can be a drag. I work too hard and don't take the time for romance. Is it Scandinavian or is that the excuse I make for being lazy with parts of my life? I remember my Norwegian grandmother telling me "Don't be silly", when I told her, "I really like someone". I remember that feeling of "oops" when she said that knowing I was wrong to voice this feeling. So get over it, Karen. Life is too short to hang on to such negativity!

Tomorrow is his turn for coffee...I'm going to work on my smile for the occasion! Donna and Darryl live modestly, but save enough to do what they love so much - travel! They manage to take exciting trips to tropical islands, cruising the warm oceans or enjoying the vast regions of our West. I can feel jealous over the lifestyle they have chosen for themselves. They both love dancing. Donna will often search out some girly skirt and strappy shoes when our gang meets up for a get together. She is the petite, cute and fun loving person we should all strive to be! I believe our immortality is what we leave behind and Donna will leave lots of sunshine and hope for the world. I never hear her really complain. She has it all figured out on how to be happy!

I got this email from another member of our high school MIDS (our high school girls club). Charlene Losche Martinez is another "happy" person. She has managed to stay focused on what is right most of her life. We all know someone with cancer. The older I get, the more people I know who are victims of the big "C". It scares me. It has recently hit close to home and indeed let us pray!

Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen

All you are asked to do is keep this circulating.
Even if it's only to one more person.
In memory of anyone you know who has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.
A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle..

Please Keep This Candle Going

It is Sunday and day for hope and a time to ponder my life and where I choose for it to go. I have places to go and things to do that will take some happiness to accomplish.

Warm Days of Spring in the Garden

I can tell that eating less is starting to create a need to eat less! That is GREAT! Now, no starvation, no dreaming of Boston Cream Pie. I can eat enough to live without going to the dark side of glutteny. I am no longer out of control. Easy to say. Let's see what I do being invited out where there is actually real pie and maybe extra rich ice cream!

I ordered a sandwich from Subway for lunch today while I am at work and I have only eaten 1/2 of it and I don't think I can even start the other half! I am still having a Tru Chocolate before meal time as I don't trust that I will be able to keep from over eating. I wonder what would happen if I didn't have one? I am not sure I'm ready to stand alone without my chocolate fix to face a meal without boundaries. I'd go for that Pepsi and then the bag of chips and the whole healthy chicken sandwich idea would be a farce.

Yesterday was another sunny warm day here on the Coast of Oregon. I kept myself busy weeding most of the day. Busy hands full of dirt can help eliminate the need to stuff my mouth as I putter in the garden. I know that if I would take a break to go get a snack, I'd find it hard to start working again. I am a passionate zealous weeder. I must get every weed until the whole acre of plantings is clean and perfect. If I stop, I can feel the exhaustion settling in. I can't stop until it starts to cool off late in the day. Jim often finds me sitting under a bush, hands me a glass of wine and nudges me to go sit with him up near he aspen grove where the last rays of sun manage to warm my back while I get myself feeling the wine. It is hard to get back to the house to fix dinner! Only the chill of early evening pushes me towards the warmth of the house.

My Scandinavian blood runs thick enough at 1/4 of my ancestry to make it impossible to waste a minute of sunshine. I grew up hearing often, "don't waste the sunshine". I tried hard not to give my children this message, as I don't want their spouses to have to go drive them in the house before they keel over being dead tired from way too many hours slaving in the garden.

Funny thing is, I love the garden. I love to weed and I don't resent working hard to help things stay beautiful. But, it is a bit embarrassing that I have to be made to quit. I'm like a dirt devil not able to stop myself in a reasonable time. I weed like I eat without a realization that too much of anything is not a good thing!

My neighbor once made a comment to my husband about being lucky enough to find the "cheap labor" he had for a wife. Somehow, I didn't find this comment flattering. I'd like to hear that Jim was lucky to find such a trim, fit and lovely wife. LOL Needless to say, I walk away from a day in the garden looking anything but lovely and all the exercise I manage to get doesn't take away enough calories to make me trim.

I have a pull over shirt with my black slacks today. Everything is flowing without sticking to any bulges. Now, to keep this process on a roll. I'm looking forward to a need to look through the closet for a smaller size black pants and maybe a belt to cinch in the top a bit. Hopefully, summer will find me having to go through boxes in the hall closet for clothes put away that I couldn't manage fasten any longer. Then in September for the reunion, I will have to even buy some yet smaller sizes!! I am really looking forward to slimmer healthier days

Subway Sandwich at 370 Calories A good Thing!

It is a glorious sunny day here on the Oregon Coast! I must get my inside work done, so I can enjoy weeding and cleaning up the yard this afternoon. I love working outside while the sun warms my back and my fingers aren't freezing as I pull weeds!

Yesterday, I was pretty good about what I ate! Wonders never cease. I taught my Introduction to Internet Selling Class; which gave me 1 1/2 hours that I was not tempted to stuff anything into my face.

After class, I stopped by Subway for one of their selections of low-fat sandwiches before heading out to visit mom at Oceanic Meadows a long-term care facility just north of town. That sandwich kept me from going through the McDonald's drive in and succumbing to a greasy burger; which would have been 590 calories for a Big Mac. Yae for small miracles. Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki at 370 calories is one of the gourmet inspired specialities. Subway takes lean and tender, savory, teriyaki glazed chicken strips topped with Subway’s own fat-free Sweet Onion Sauce. It’s a flavorful blend served hot with your choice of fresh vegetables and your choice of fat-free condiments on freshly baked bread.

I could feel the waist band of my black pants fitting a bit looser and that long new styled tunic top didn't hike up from hitting the bulge of my gut or butt! I am getting thinner. Yes, I am still wearing the same size, but that size fits better and that is a good thing!

I did have a bit of that left over turkey for dinner last night, but I watched to only have one moderate serving. I splurged on a glass of wine and later slowly enjoyed one of my chocolates to kill the need for dessert!

Most of my class is now signed up with Facebook. We have a group called, Internet Connections Brookings, Oregon. We can now keep track of each other and what we are doing. It is sad that I'll teach a class and never know what they are doing with what they learned in class. Hopefully, our new group will help stay in contact.

Today Is A New Day

We had company for dinner last night; which proved the ruin to plans to make each and every day count as a day that would bring that healthier lifestyle as a focus to my life. Our guest are new to our town. They recently purchased The Salty Dog Coffee Shop. They also bought a 50 foot 51-year-old wooden boat to live on. Pamela and Tim are a very nice and interesting couple. It is always fun to get to know new people! They have moved here from the Redding, CA area, where Pamela was a Special Ed Teacher and Tim ran an electrical contracting business. It has to be fun to totally re-invent yourself!

This blog is working to focus my attention on what is important...thinner and healthier! I want to throw the Lipitor away and never expect Diabetes to show up. Most of my relatives have suffered from Diabetes later in their lives. My father loved his food, ignored all the warning signs and only managed to live 70 years! I am almost 70, so I better get real like right now.

I fixed a turkey yesterday; which is a healthy choice, but how about that yummy gravey and the mashed potatoes? The one saving grace is that I didn't make stuffing! I found a Southwestern turkey recipe. I marinated the turkey with white wine, olive oil and chicken broth seasoned with salt and pepper. It was moist and very tasty.

I love my wine and I usually limit myself to one glass, but I think I had three last night; which managed to give me a head ache to wake up to. Will I ever learn?

I have started off with gusto this morning having one cup of cooked steel oats with 1/2 cup of 2 per cent milk. I can't manage to like skim milk...it is blue and has no taste. Maybe I can change my attitude if I try? I sprinkled one teaspoon of a mix I made of raw sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg on the cereal. It makes me think of fabulous cooked cereal you get in Mendocino, CA. We have spent many weekends enjoying this romantic village on the Northern Coast of California. In fact, Jim and I were married there 20 years ago at the Little River Inn.

For lunch, I am planning to enjoy a piece of Tru Chocolate. It will kill my urge to over eat at lunch and I will be kept on track. Sweet is a good thing. I might have some of our left over salad...hope it isn't too soggy.

My friend, Jude Hodge, introduced me to the Tru Chocolate a few weeks ago. She gave me a piece and handed me a bottle of water telling me to enjoy the chocolate then drink the water. She eagerly watched as I savored the chocolate and took my first sip of water. Yes, she was rewarded with a big "Wow!". Tru Chocolate lingers long after eating so that the water taste like chocolate! I found that I didn't even want dinner that evening! I am now so enthusiastic that I am telling others about this fantastic product. If you want to try a piece, just let me know by clicking on Tru Chocolate Sample. I will make sure to send you a piece! I only ask that you share that "Wow" with me.

I love good food, good deserts, fine wine and spreading good things on to everyone. If I have a Tru Chocolate instead of desert, it works for me! It kills the urge to keep on eating giving me that satisfaction of something sweet. Jude says that she has one later in the evening while watching TV so she won't be tempted to snack. Jude tells her story on Facebook in a video she made.

Today, I will work to keep my goals in mind as I ship off product, visit mom in the nursing home, check in with my retail location at the English Village Shopping Center and leave Jim to finishing up the gravy laden turkey. He loves left overs. He doesn't have to watch what he eats. Doesn't that just make you really mad? I am so very jealous of that man!

So, hopefully, I will have a good report tomorrow about how I managed to keep my focus on me today. I need to care enough about me to be good to myself!

I'd love to hear your thoughts....

7 Months To Find My Mojo

I have a fantasy of showing up for my 50th High School Reunion hearing gasps and whispers about "who is that stunning woman walking in?" I glide in gracefully doing a top model entrance with my hip bones leading the way. I feel the joy of knowing that I look fabulous and I weigh the same as I did 50 years ago! When I graduated from high school, I weighed 98 pounds!

In reality, I will be 68 years old with an additional 40 pounds packed onto my short 5'3" body with no hip bones to be found. I also find it hard these days to be graceful in new cute shoes! I do well in tennis shoes but anything cute and with any type of heel finds me staggering a bit to find my balance.

I have decided to make a real effort to finally take this opportunity to get healthier by loosing a few pounds. There will never be a better time. I need to take advantage of not wanting to arrive at my reunion to whispers of "who is that woman who is as wide as she is short?" I may not be able to erase years, but I sure can try for kinder whispers like "who is that woman who looks so well for her age?" That would be a good thing!

I plan to write this blog almost daily between now and then letting the world know my progress and what I am doing to get in the shape I'm looking for. I think we all love success stories and warm and fuzzy things to read in a world full of financial gloom. I am warm and fuzzy and diets actually can save you money! Eating less can result in less money being spent on food! Now, I have another reason to watch that I don't eat too much. I need to afford that plane ticket to Indiana.

If you want to know more about me, I have a website called, Candy Box Life, where I have put my websites, blogs, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other activities I am involved with. It is my candybox where I put all my fun interesting things in one place.

My reunion is in September 2009, at Southport High School near Indianapolis, Indiana. I have seven months to find my mojo. I know I shouldn't walk into a reunion with a bag full of silly expectations. I won't recognize many of my old classmates. I have lived on the west coast since 1968 and seldom have gone back to Indiana.

I do have friends that I have stayed close to. Five of us have gotten together every two years. We have met up in different places to shop, drink wine and talk all night. We instantly go right back to where we left off not really recognizing that we are now getting MUCH older! We giggle and flirt just as we did when we were 17. I found a long-lost dear friend on Classmates on the web. She has now reconnected with all of us and plans to join the late night wine and giggles. It will take a few long nights to catch up on her past 50 years!! LOL

Reality hit us hard when one of us got the dreaded "C" diagnoses just a couple months ago. She is going through treatment and plans on still being there to giggle and flirt with us. I certainly pray that she will beat her illness! We are too young to start getting old, sick and feeble!

So all of you out there, be ready for a fun ride as I shape up, get thinner and emotionally understand that I am no longer that awkward girl of long ago. I am competent, at ease with my life and not butt ugly. In high school, I hated my black curly hair, being boobie challenged and terribly unsure of myself around boys. I am now gray with less curl, hate that my bust has grown and am happily securely married to a fine man.

Please come back to share this jouney with me! Much more to come including good food, some wine and plenty of chocolates!